1. Make Your Marriage A Priority. None of us have all the time we want to get it all done. Between bills, kids, jobs, spouse, hobbies, wellness, and so much more, we can’t crush it in every aspect of life. Unfortunately our marriage often gets squeezed out in the busy of life. At times couples choose work, hobbies, and even kids over their spouse, and when they do, their marriage pays the price.
Ephesians 5:15-17 says, “Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is.” The fool chooses the good over the great. Rather, we need to make decisions that show our marriage is a priority.
Yes, we need hobbies, time for ourselves, and have bills to pay and mouths to feed. But, if we don’t make our marriage one of the highest priorities, our marriage and commitment to each other will suffer. Sometimes you need to say “no” to hanging with friends, girls night out, or overtime at work. Go on a date, share what God is teaching you with your spouse, and make time for each other. When you do, you will grow your affection (and commitment) for each other.
Question: What can you do this week to help raise the priority level of your commitment in marriage? Can you make plans to go on a date together sometime this week?
2. Protect Your Marriage. Many couples spend too much time coveting the marriages or spouse of others. We look over their fence and covet their home. As a friend often says, “We need to quit looking over the fence at our neighbor’s grass and instead water our own!”
Stop thinking about being with someone other than your spouse. STOP! You made a commitment in marriage to each other and when you covet the life and spouse of another, you are in sin. Often we play the “What if” game: What if I married her? What if he never asked me to marry him—who would I be with? I wonder if they want out as well? I wonder what his muscles feel like and what they’re like in bed?
Make your marriage a priority (#1) and work to protect your marriage. Genesis 2:24 says, “That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.” In a one flesh relationship, you belong to your spouse and your spouse belongs to you. You are one with each other. This means you close the door to all other romantic interests.
I once heard Michael Hyatt share something so helpful about his marriage. He uses “adultery repellant” to protect their marriage. This is when you speak so highly of your spouse, in front of them and behind their back, and it becomes very clear to all that you are very happily married.
Every year on your anniversary share a list of reasons why you love your spouse. Words alone don’t ensure fidelity and commitment, but they sure do help strengthen your commitment in marriage to each other.
Go get you a case of adultery repellant and protect your marriage!
Question: When’s the last time you encouraged your spouse to their face? What’s the last encouraging thing you said about them when you were not together?
3. Keep A Record Of Rights (Not Wrongs)
In 1 Corinthians 13:6, Paul says love keeps no record of wrongs. Love doesn’t keep a list of deficits and shortcomings, and it doesn’t keep a ranking of who’s the better spouse.
Rather, what if we kept a list of rights instead of wrongs? What if you paid attention to all the great things your spouse does instead of their mistakes? What if you noticed and affirmed them for the ways they serve you and your family?
Here are a few practical suggestions:
For the next seven days, write down one admirable trait about your spouse. Keep a list on your phone or in your journal.
Write down a few reasons why you’re thankful for your spouse every day. Again, keep a list in your journal or in the Notes app on your phone. You don’t need to show your list to your spouse, but the practice and habit of keeping a gratitude list will hopefully change the way you view your spouse.
Tell your spouse why you’re thankful for them and how they’ve helped you become more like Jesus Christ. One of the greatest gifts of marriage is being one flesh with someone who helps you become like Jesus.
I know for many of you, the list is real and the hurt is even more real. Thankfully, God does not keep a list of wrongs we’ve committed. Rather, while He is fully aware of our rights and wrongs, his love for us is great. Psalm 103:12 says, “As far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.” He does not count our sins against us, and instead sees followers of Christ as forgiven.
Question: Do you tend to keep a list of wrongs or rights? How can you more intentionally take note of your spouse’s rights and not wrongs?
Prince Victor Matthew
HOPE EXPRESSION HUB
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