Every Godly marriage must have its own ups and down. Even the Bible stayed that there is time for everything, including fighting in marriage. There is a fighting season or period in every marriage. The goal is not avoiding the fight but gaining in the wisdom to fight well. Yeap! You need to learn how to fight well because, we are here to fight the good fight of Faith.
Misunderstanding will surely come and it's not a sign your spouse hates you. Disagreement between you and your spouse is just a sign, you both are two different humans that thinks differently. It shows you and your spouse have different view to the issue on ground. It has nothing to do with lack of trust or belittling in any way.
There are things to fight inarriage and there are things you must not fight. In this post, I will write about the things you must not fight in your marriage.
MINISTRY
Don't not fight the career, calling, ministry or profession of your spouse. Even if their job is starving you of the time and attention you need from your spouse. Communicate it in a lovely way for your spouse to be able to set a balance. A balance of creating time for you, and creating time for their job or calling or ministry. There is no success if you are doing well at work and your spouse is starved of time and attention.
NATURE
Don't fight the nature of your spouse. If your spouse is an introvert or extrovert, stop fighting to change your spouse. Marriage is not a project of changing your spouse from their nature, to what you want. You knew and saw the nature of your spouse before you got married. Let the wisdom of God guild you in how to relate with your spouse, according to their nature. Do your best to compliment the nature of your spouse. Use your strength to support their weakness, and expect the same from your spouse too.
PASSION.
Don't fight the passion of your spouse. If your spouse is passionate about watching football, don't make your spouse feel some thing is wrong with him or her. Fighting the passion of your spouse is hurting them in a deeper way. Whatsoever you see your spouse honour, and excited about, don't even dare to fight it all. Fighting that side of them will bring out the worst in them, or make them to isolate from you.
LOOKS.
You have no right to use the looks, height and body shape of your spouse as an insult or mockery. Even in the midst of argument, don't attack this side of your spouse or use this side of them to insult them, make jokes in public or disrespect them with any of these things. Don't fight the looks of your spouse. If something is wrong, support and encouragement them, in love in other to fix what is wrong.
DRESSING.
Don't fight the dressing of your spouse. Stop making annoying jokes with their dressing. It is a big disrespect before God and humanity. You saw the way your spouse dresses before you married your spouse. If they were not appealing to you, why did you marry your spouse? Don't force a lady who is not comfortable with trousers to start wearing trousers automatically. Don't force a man that is not comfortable with cooperate to start that automatically. Flow with your spouse according to the kind of dressing pattern he or she is comfortable. In all, make sure your dressing or your spouse dressing honours the Lord.
FAMILY AND SIBLINGS
Fighting the family or siblings of your spouse is like a person breaking the foundation of a building. You have no right to disrespect any of these people. Whosoever your spouse have become today, these people contribute to it directly or indirectly. They may lack some things your parents or siblings never lacked but the fact that this family have raised, a son or daughter that is good enough to be your spouse, you owe them honour and respect. Stop making mockery of their house, or any thing relating to them. Stop using painful history of your spouse's parents or siblings as a tool to fight your lover during argument. Don't even joke with them.
MISTAKES.
Stop using the knowledge of the mistakes of your spouse against your spouse. Insulting your spouse with a lost job, a lost child, a lost opportunity, past failure in relationship or marriage or any thing surrounding their mistake. Don't bring it up as a joke and stop reminding them about their past in an abusive manner. Don't treat your spouse according to their mistakes. Treat them according the Grace of Christ within them.
These are the few among many things you must not fight in your marriage. May the Holy Spirit help your marriage to keep pleasing God in Jesus Name.
Prince Victor Matthew
HOPE EXPRESSION HUB
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