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Spouses, What Is Your Marriage Revealing About You?

Marriage has a way of revealing what dating may have hidden. It exposes your communication patterns, emotional maturity, expectations, fears, selfishness, patience, and willingness to grow. Sometimes the problem you keep seeing in your spouse is also revealing something that God wants to address in you. This does not mean you should accept abuse or take responsibility for another person's harmful behavior. It means marriage should become a place where both spouses are willing to examine themselves honestly.

A healthy marriage requires personal responsibility. If your spouse tells you that your tone is hurting them, your first response should not always be defensiveness. If your husband or wife repeatedly tells you that they feel ignored, disrespected, controlled, or emotionally abandoned, it is worth asking whether there is something in your behavior that needs attention. At the same time, accountability must never be used to silence someone experiencing manipulation, intimidation, violence, or abuse. You can take responsibility for your mistakes without taking responsibility for someone else's decision to hurt you.

Scripture says, “Examine yourselves, whether ye be in the faith; prove your own selves.” — 2 Corinthians 13:5 KJV. Marriage needs this principle. Instead of constantly asking, “What is wrong with my spouse?” ask, “What is my marriage revealing about me?” Am I becoming more patient or more bitter? More truthful or more deceptive? More compassionate or more controlling? More purposeful or increasingly distracted from what God called me to do?

Your marriage should not destroy your identity or bury your divine assignment. A husband and wife are called to cooperate, support one another, and build a home where both can mature in Christ. If one spouse continually demands that the other abandon purpose, relationships, healthy boundaries, ministry, growth, or godly convictions, that is not healthy marital cooperation. Love should create room for righteous growth, not demand unhealthy submission to control.

Look into the mirror before pointing at your spouse, but do not use the mirror to excuse wrongdoing. What is God asking you to change? What patterns have you brought into your marriage that need healing? And what behaviors from your spouse must you stop accommodating because they are damaging the covenant and the people within it? Healthy marriage requires humility, truth, boundaries, forgiveness, accountability, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit.

Hope Expression Values You 
Apostle Prince Victor Matthew 

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