One of the beautiful responsibilities of Christian marriage is building a home where the presence of God is honoured, the Word of God is practised and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit is experienced. However, when children arrive, maintaining spiritual intimacy as a couple can become challenging. Between parenting responsibilities, work schedules, household demands, school activities and the physical exhaustion that comes with raising children, couples may gradually lose the intentional time they once devoted to praying, studying Scripture and worshipping together. You may discover that the quiet moments you previously enjoyed have become occupied by the needs of your children. Nevertheless, having children should not mean losing spiritual connection as husband and wife. Joshua 24:15 declares, "As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord." This is a reminder that your household must have a spiritual foundation that influences every other responsibility. Children are part of your marriage journey, but they should not become a reason for neglecting your relationship with God or your spiritual connection as a couple.
You must understand that spiritual intimacy does not happen accidentally; it requires intentional planning and mutual commitment. Do not wait until you have an entirely free day before creating opportunities to pray together. That day may not come as frequently as you expect. Instead, learn to establish simple spiritual routines that accommodate your present family responsibilities. You can pray together before beginning the day's activities, read a short portion of Scripture before going to bed or spend a few minutes discussing what God is teaching you individually. If your children are young, you can take turns attending to them while the other partner prepares for your devotional time. Ephesians 5:15-16 encourages believers to walk wisely and redeem the time because the days are evil. This principle teaches you to become intentional with the time available to you. Spiritual intimacy does not always require lengthy meetings; it requires consistency, sincerity and a shared desire to grow in Christ.
As parents, you must also recognise that your children need to witness the spiritual relationship you are building with God. Do not make the mistake of believing that spiritual development happens only when children are absent. Your children can become participants in your family's spiritual culture. Pray with them, teach them biblical values, encourage them to ask questions about God and allow them to observe how you and your spouse resolve disagreements through humility and forgiveness. Deuteronomy 6:6-7 instructs parents to teach God's commandments diligently to their children, speaking about them throughout the ordinary activities of life. This means that discipleship is not restricted to church services or family devotion periods. Your everyday conduct is part of the spiritual education your children receive. When they observe their parents praying together, apologising when wrong and treating each other with honour, they begin to understand that Christianity is not merely a religious activity but a way of life.
However, do not allow parenting to consume every dimension of your marital relationship. Your identity as parents must not completely replace your identity as husband and wife. Children need responsible parents, but they also benefit from witnessing a healthy marriage where love, friendship, affection and spiritual companionship are intentionally maintained. Create opportunities for private conversations, pray about your marriage, discuss your individual spiritual journeys and encourage one another's relationship with God. Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 teaches that two are better than one because they have a good reward for their labour and can help one another when either falls. Your spouse should not become a stranger simply because you have become busy raising children. Do not allow every conversation to revolve around school fees, feeding, discipline and household responsibilities. Continue discovering one another spiritually, emotionally and relationally. Remember that your children will eventually grow, but the covenant you share as husband and wife remains a responsibility that requires continuous investment.
Finally, understand that building spiritual intimacy with children in the home is not about creating a perfect family routine; it is about establishing a consistent spiritual direction. There will be days when the children interrupt your prayers, when exhaustion prevents you from completing your Bible study or when unexpected responsibilities disrupt your plans. Do not allow these interruptions to produce guilt or discourage you from trying again. Matthew 6:33 teaches us to seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness. Make Christ the centre of your marriage, your parenting and your family decisions. Let the Holy Spirit teach you how to balance your responsibilities without sacrificing your spiritual development. Your assignment as husband and wife extends beyond producing children; it includes raising a generation that understands God's love, embraces His truth and discovers its purpose in Christ. Build a home where prayer is normal, forgiveness is practised, love is visible and the Word of God is respected. Do not become so occupied with raising children for God that you forget to cultivate your own relationship with God and the spiritual intimacy of your marriage.
Hope Expression Values You
Apostle Prince Victor Matthew
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